I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
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98% of the female status’ I see on Facebook are ‘I hate guys, I’m gonna be a lesbian.’ Like no. We don’t want you either.
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the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
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my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you just hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles
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so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
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I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIDDING SOGMLASG
HOLY SHIT
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