I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
98% of the female status’ I see on Facebook are ‘I hate guys, I’m gonna be a lesbian.’ Like no. We don’t want you either.
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you just hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles
so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night
you guys think I’m joking??
oMFG MY TEARS I CANT DEAL
CAN U HEAR ME SCREAMING